NOTE! This was written end of May 2020 but I decided against publishing it. But now, as we continue with the constraints of COVID impacting our new normal in Sept 2020 I feel the message is even more relevant ….
It was the 1980’s and I was ten years old, in hospital and in isolation. Medical staff were wearing gloves, face masks, full disposable gown and shoe coverings, as were my parents, who were my only permitted visitors for an hour per day.
My daughter is also currently ten years old at the time of writing during these times of COVID 19 (currently May 2020) and whilst I am all blessed with being healthy and safe at home during these times I can’t help but think back and make comparisons….
Gillian, age 10 a few weeks after getting out of hospital
It all started with the New Year when my brother began to be sick with what we assumed was a normal bout of tummy bug. So, when I became sick around a week later we didn’t think anything of it. I remember feeling really bad and the look on my Mum's face as she came in to check on me one particular morning. She told me I was bright yellow. My skin was yellow, the whites of my eyes were yellow and my parents immediately phoned our Doctor. As I lay there waiting for him to arrive I remember being really frightened.
As soon as I had medical attention they identified the issue, which wasn’t life threatening, but meant I had to swiftly go to quarantine in infectious disease hospital around 30 minutes from my home to protect everyone around me and to get the proper medical attention. It is funny the things you remember as the smell of the beer hops from the nearby factory as we arrived which made me feel even worse. Funnily enough, I moved to Edinburgh when I started studying to be a PE teacher and stayed near another beer factory it became a familiar smell of going home!
During that time I was isolated in hospital for around three weeks. Eventually my Dad picked up the infection too and was placed in a ward down the corridor but I never got to see him. It turns out that you find Highland Dance connections everywhere you go though as one of the nurses ended up being a Mum of a girl I competed with and she used to sneak notes my Dad and I wrote to each other and was our secret postal service. It was so comforting to see someone familiar that knew about dancing, even if it was from behind a mask and we spoke about dancing often.
At the time I was absent from school for around eight weeks. During that time I was also readmitted to hospital with pneumonia and pleurisy, again with restricted visitors although I can’t quite remember why I was put back in the same room in the infectious disease hospital now. But, back to quarantine I went!
So, why do I write about this now?
Well, a number of reasons. I think about all the kind doctors and nurses. The kindness that friends, family and in particular my dance friends at the time. The gifts, cards, messages even from dance judges who had heard about me was overwhelming, even a couple of judges who were not particularly favourable for me I thought…! It taught me that they were human and perhaps just liked some of my fellow competitors style better than me and that it wasn’t personal!
However, it taught me so much more I think looking back. I’ll never take for granted how kind the nurses were. How worried my parents were and how difficult it all was.
Gillian in her happy place, dancing age 10 once again
But, during that time I really missed dancing.
The competitions in particular, just like many of the dancers will be the moment too. But, also the practice, the classes and everything about it. I knew I loved it. ALL I wanted to do was get back to doing what I loved. I remember getting home and playing my Highland Dance practice tapes over and over and as I became stronger I attempted to ‘walk through’ the movements with my legs as I lay on the sofa. My mum thought it was funny as she pointed out that friends would be listening to chart music and I was playing the Seann Triubhas over and over again which was my favourite dance at the time.
I can’t imagine how frightened those affected by COVID have been over the past few months and my heart goes out to them.
Whilst my experience is totally different from what is going on in our world just now I just feel there are a few similarities in what I experienced and think it most probably shaped me in who I am today. I certainly remember the day I got to go to watch a dance competition as I wasn’t strong enough to compete for a while later. But, I remember watching my friends in a Championship at the Brunton Halls, Musselburgh and whilst I longed to be on the floor, I remember feeling so lucky to be able to watch in person again. I’m also pretty good with my own company these days and I wonder if this was developed at that time. I’ve always been determined (some might say stubborn but I’m saying determined), and I do wonder if this experience developed this even more or not. I also wonder how these times will shape our own children for the future.
As I write this today we have competed around three months of lockdown and heavy restrictions in Scotland which are set to continue here. There have been over 40, 000 deaths in the UK.
I am thankful that I and my immediate family have been healthy but do know of deaths and people affected. One day we will get back to dance in person once again.
I know I am looking forward to classes in person once again and long to go to a dance competition with my daughter in the future. I’ve told so many people that if they hear me complain about a dance competition over running again they have permission to slap me!
We will all come out of this differently. Back when all this happened I went through a period of being anxious, particularly around school and think I might even have had separation anxiety from my Mum at one point! We’ll be in it together though I hope which will make a difference.
Until we get to a point that we can move to doing more in person I am so thankful for the virtual classes. For everyone that has joined and the wee smiles I see or interaction with a loved one in a house when you take part together. But, I really look forward to the day that we are out there dancing once again. If you have not joined a virtual class and they are not for you … do me a favour and just go switch on some music and dance.
Dancing just helps and I bet you feel better for it!
UPDATE IN SEPTEMBER 2020:
Some of us are starting to move to classes in person from Australia to Canada, US and Scotland. We will have to do this slowly and carefully but I know so many of us can’t wait to get dancing again in person.
Now more than ever, it really doesn’t matter if you can do the steps. It really doesn’t matter what you look like. If you are moving it a good thing for your physical and mental health.
Virtual classes will continue for the moment for many and also centrally with me (Gillian) whilst we still need them. I still get nervous for every virtual class for some reason but am so thankful that so many of you have joined over the last five and a half months. Hopefully it has helped you but it has definitely helped me to dance through all this.